He was the mildest manner’d man that ever scuttled a ship or cut a throat with such true breeding of a gentleman, you never could divine his real thought… from Don Juan by Lord Byron, English poet, 1788-1824
There are more than 3,800 yachts in the world that are over 80 feet and that number is rapidly growing. Since 1997, the number of mega yachts has increased by 400 percent. The industry encompasses over 10 billion dollars in business for just the yachts and the crew. The monetary value for all of the extended industry support systems is unknown. The mega yacht business is giga big.
As with any huge conglomerate, the mega yacht industry has its own set of innate problems. Working, eating, sleeping and spending much of your off time with the same group of people can breed an atmosphere that is suffocating with impolite actions and speech patterns. Very complex attitudes can develop over small issues that arise with so much “together time.”
One of the main difficulties with working and living on the sea is the tendency to side step the formality of being polite. However, civility of attitude and manner is an important aspect in maintaining a sense of respect in any well- managed business community.
General complaints from crew members range from roommates having disgusting bathroom and stateroom cleanliness to crew members eating with their mouth open at the table. Other annoying habits include monopolizing all conversations, argumentative and /or accusatory attitudes, sexual harassment, gossiping, forming cliques that discriminate against other crew members, teasing, leaving messes wherever the offending crew member goes on the vessel, excessive snoring, and lack of promptness whether it be for a crew meeting or a dinner off the vessel. The offenses are as endless as the flaws that we have as human beings.
Peter Drucker is considered the father of modern management. He believes that “manners are the lubricating oil of an organization and that it is a law of nature that two moving bodies in contact with each other create friction.” This is as true for human beings as it is for inanimate objects. Manners—simple things like saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ enable two people to work together whether they like each other or not.” Some people in yachting are just not interested in cultivating friendships but we all should have a vested interest in enhancing our performance as professionals.
In July of 2008, the Joint Commission which is an accreditation body for the United States health-care industry ordered 15,000 hospitals, and other health care facilities to spell out what is considered acceptable and unacceptable personal conduct. These places of care have known for years that intimidating and disruptive behaviors are a serious problem and those verbal outbursts and condescending attitudes are the direct cause of breakdowns in teamwork and communication.
In a convoluted sort of way, we, in the mega yacht industry, are also in the caring business. We care for the yachts when we take personal pride in striving for that perfect shine on stainless steel or the meticulous cataloging system that we devise for keeping track of 27 different place settings of china. We care with thoughtful painstaking detail for the charter guest that we may only meet once. We, as mega yacht crew, care for the Owners of the vessel as if we were entrusted with transporting gold from the Atocha mother lode. But, does this caring attitude extend to our crew mates, our roommates, our lovers, and our friends?
I recently overheard a Captain say to a second stewardess who was begging to keep her job, “Say another word and I might change my mind, now get off my bridge”. Eric Hoffe is credited with saying, “rudeness is the weak man’s imitation of strength”; a profound thought to be considered when you hear some foolish fit of temper.
Captains and crew members that exclude co-workers from situations, make derogatory remarks on the vessel and in public, withhold information and ridicule other’s ideas not only hurt crew on the receiving end of the abusive behavior but also reflect poorly on the vessel and disrespect the entire yachting industry.
The Civility Group, Inc., wrote several lessons on manners for ages 3-7 that we, as professionals, can learn from. They explain that saying “please” shows that you are asking politely and not being bossy. They site that if no one said “please”; we would all be grabbing things and being bossy at the same time! Other polite behaviors that need to be practiced by children include; not interrupting, saying thank you, smiling, cleaning up your mess and picking up after yourself, complimenting someone’s good work or their appearance, saying excuse me and refraining from burping loud. As simplistic as these polite behaviors sound, they go a long way to calming the sea to becoming a mannered crew member because your attitude, your cleanliness, and your friendliness all matter.
It is especially important in the mega yacht industry when we become ambassadors to other countries and cultures, as a perk of our chosen profession, to be an example to the world that courteous thoughts, words and deeds are essential. .
Emily Post, the matron of all etiquette, believes that manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter which fork you use! Remember to treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you---not because they are nice, but because you are.
Thank you for taking the time to read this article and may I say you look wonderful today!
Fair winds and calm seas,
Captain Ted
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